I have been through a lot in the past few months, I have felt more pain in my life then I believe I ever have. I've also felt the most love in my life as well...
There is a fine line between love, and hate. It's a fine, crooked line that takes time to travel. Not a simple path one can run down. That's something we learn in time though. What I have learned in the past months though, through the pain, love, and anger...is hope. Hope is something very powerful, maybe even more powerful then love and hate combined. Love. Someone can love someone or something all their lives and never act on it, or even realize it. Then hate, love's twin...So powerful and precise. A weapon many use, though many are full of hate- and never act upon it. Though hope...Hope is something that stirs within. Hope can build a torn down man-up, with nothing but itself.
A quote I heard recently from my new favorite movie, "The Hunger Games," made by Snow (the kind of evil, president in the story) said this about hope and his people, "...Hope, it is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous. This fact is fine, as long as it's contained." It was a very different way of looking at hope, but very true.
So, the one thing that I have learned these past few months is that even if your hope is weak or not even 'really' there...you most ALWAYS have it. You most always, have hope.
Here is a short story I wrote on just that, and my own experience...
Hope
The sun swallows me, it’s gentle light tickling my skin. Hushed, whispers of wind tussle my hair. The sweet grass flows over the small piece of Heaven I rest on. Lace flowers bloom, their petals’ as a ballerina; beautiful and grace. The robins’ call my name, the return of a dear friend. Sweet melodies they sing, a lullaby. It flows of love, shades of pink and yellow bloom from each perfect note. Tall oaks surround, protecting me. They stand old and wise, my protectors and advisers. They whistle hushed love coos’ as I drift away. The moment, perfect, this place. I can almost taste its love poring over me. Its warmth, and its sorrow… His cool touch chases away the warmth. I beg for it not to leave, the warmth, the songs, the love, the protection- but it all is lost. Distant notes of forgiveness beg for me as they drift away. His frozen hands take mine, everything is gone. The grass slowly crumbles under his pressure. It dries to dust, chasing after the bitter place in the wind. I float into him, he takes me in with heavy arms. His eyes pierce mine, as I shrink to the ground trying to save what love might be left from the place; but it is all gone. The forsaken land hollowed, abandoned, and abused. He steps away, leaving me with his cold touch. Frost slides down my skin, turning it an uncomfortable blue. My heart weeps, deprived of the warmth and love it craves. He runs from the place, my place. Leaving me cold and broken. I try to remember the love, the melody of my lullabies. All is without point, it is all lost. Maybe the place never even existed? Maybe I’ve always been in this tundra, in this abandoned, hopeless world. I arise, and I stand. Slowly, weary steps reach through my feet until I have moved. The process is slow, and agonizing- for my body is tired, not used to the change; but I adjust, and soon, I’m away. Away and new. I travel far across the barren land, until a familiar touch arouses my senses. I step closer, testing. Then slowly following, slowly excepting. I enter my new home, with a new feeling I had not yet felt…hope.
The sun swallows me, it’s gentle light tickling my skin. Hushed, whispers of wind tussle my hair. The sweet grass flows over the small piece of Heaven I rest on. Lace flowers bloom, their petals’ as a ballerina; beautiful and grace. The robins’ call my name, the return of a dear friend…
Let me know what you guys think! Thanks for reading <3 ttfn xoxo
~Esther
